The love that Brandon has for his Sister

Brandon loves his sister so much and it shows he gives he kisses all the time and last night when I was giving Haleigh a bath Brandon was standing there and normally he does not ever take a bath with her but I put him in the tub with her last night and he looked at her and gave her a kiss right on her forehead I love these moments. This morning Haleigh was playing on a blanket on the floor all by herself and Brandon sat down and played with her. She fell backwards while they were playing and he said to her are you o..k. and he tried to pick her up all by himself. They do have thier moments when he taked every toy she is playing with even if it is hers he say's mine. He is a good big brother to her and I know that there will be little fights over toys as she gets bigger but I always will have these memories of the two of them.

Well let me see where do I start I just want to take a moment and thank all of my friends that have been there for me and my family over these past ten months. There have been so many changes that have taken place some happy and some sad. Marly thanks for being there and coming up to the hosptial every day to spend some time with me and Haleigh it meant so much. Those day's were hard for me b/c I missed my mom so much and just knowing that she would of been there every moment she could have, but you help fill that void for me. You are and always will be my best friend we have been through alot together and I love you with my whole heart and soul, you are like my sister. My father has grown to be a wonderful father I had a good relationship with him but living with my parents again during the time my mom was sick helped bring us closer b/c I helped him with taking care of my mom during those last few weeks. I think that God had a plan and that was part of it. Last but not least my sister I cherish every phone call and every visit , I think that we all have realized a few lesson's in life since Mom got sick again one year ago today it has brought us closer and I am very happy about that. I will be glad when I can see my mom's face again but she knows Iam not ready any time soon, my work here on earth is not done yet. But when it is I will not be afraid because I will be in Heaven with my momma and all of those other friends and family that have gone home before all of us. Sorry to get all mushy here but Iam fine it is hard looking back and just knowing that a year ago life as we all knew it was changing and I miss my mom so much at certin times. I thought that the holiday's were going to be a little bit easier since in reality we have had our first Christmas without her but I see this one being harder for all of us. Because last year not knowing what was lying ahead of us we all had bought Mom gifts and this year there will be no gifts to buy. I want to do a little something special for my Dad in memory of my mom but I need ideas if you have any that you would like to share let me know.

Well things are going great we only have a few weeks until we are moving and I can't wait to be settled again. I am at the mid-term already it is hard to believe that as well. For those of you that know me real well won't be shocked when I say this that pretty much all of my christmas shopping is done I only have a few people left and I will be finished with in the next few weeks and than the fun begins. I love shopping for the gifts for others but I hate the wrappign portion of it. Well I will be putting up the tree when we move b/c I love christmas and the Holiday season. I hope and pray that this Christmas won't be to hard on me and my family. My mom loved Christmas so much and since we have already had our first Christmas with out her so to speak I hope that this one is a little eaiser.

Haleigh is sitting up all on her own 99% of the time and she is starting to talk. She is growing like a weed and as for Brandon he is going through the TERRIBLE TWO'S. But he is still an angel at times. I love my babies so much and it is hard to believe that Brandon is 2 1/2 and Haleigh is 8mths old already where does the time go.

happy times

Well we are going to be moving in the next three to four weeks and I can't wait to finally have a fenced in backyard so that way I don't have to worry any longer when Brandon is outside playing and the best part is the house that we are moving into is the house that I grew up in. I have started packing a little bit, just like that things on the wall's since we don't need those things. We are going to be moving one room at time starting with the kids rooms first. I will be glad when we are finally settled again so we can enjoy our "new" house.

My sister has finally landed the job with perdue after three seperate interviews with numerous diffrent people within the company. This is the job that she really wanted and Iam so happy for her. Congradulation's I am so proud for you that you just did not settle on something that you would not be happy in doing.

eight months in heaven

tomorrow my mother will be in heaven for eight months and lately Iam finding myself missing her more and more as each day passes. I often wonder why did this have to happen to me and my family, and we may never know the answer to that question and that is one question that we all have asked more than once. I look at my children and I often wonder does my mother check in on them from time to time and Iam postive that she does. She would not miss these two kids growing up. When I was pregnant with Brandon my mother made sure that he knew who she was and that she loved him so much she would see him on a daily basis and not a day went by that she did not see him even if it was for a half of an hour. She would of not had it any other way and it melted her heart the first time that he said mom-mom and I know for a fact that he has not forgotten who she is and he will take this picture that was taken when he was 13 months old off of my end table and just look at her and he will say mom-mom. He was the apple of my mother's eye.

Than shortly after that photo session at the picture people I found out that I was pregnant with baby number two and I was very upset over that and that was the last thing that I needed that time in my life , Micah and I had some financial issues and we had just moved in with my folks and I find out that Iam pregnant and shortly after all of this I had a threatned miscarriage eleven weeks into the pregnancy and my attitude quickly changed about this baby that was growing inside me .God spoke to me and said I have gave you a gift I know that she was not planned by you but she was by me and you will find out why later. So a few weeks passed and I lost my job and than the rest of my world came crashing down my mom was diganosed with terminal liver and brain cancer . I knew than why I became pregnant with haleigh and that was so once again I could be strong for my mom and the rest of my family as I had done before. There were many times that my mom would tell me that she was scared and she knew that things were going to be diffrent than the previous time. I would tell her that everything was going to be o.k. no matter what way it turned out and I really wanted mom to be there in the physical state when I gave birth to my baby girl but that was not god's plan instead she was there in the spritital state and Kim and I both felt her presence in that operating room.

I often feel her around me and I often wonder what is mom doing in heaven? I hope that she is floating around in a pool she would do that daily and I also hope that she is eating Crab's and drinking her Pina Colada's and watching down on all of us.

Well I am emotionally exhausted so Iam going to call it a night and until I write again God Bless all my friends and family and for those of you that knew my mother you have a extra Angel looking out for you just like my family does.

Love you all, Tracey

Today was my first day at Wor-Wic and what a great one it was. It was kind of odd going back to school after 11 plus years but there are people of all age groups in my classes and I can't wait to see what everyone is like and getting to know these people. I really like my instructor's and I really think that I will love my writing class the best and the other funny thing is in high school I was TERRIBLE in math and this instructor is presenting to the class in such a wonderful way that this all makes sense to me so for the first time ever I think that Iam going to great in math.